


if it’s never been broken

by fnowae



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Future AU, M/M, Robot AU, dystopian au, i have no clue what to tag, just read it, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: “But you can get it working again?" Joe prompts, watching as Pete studies the panel and pokes at a couple of the wires."I can definitely do that, but, babe..." Pete sighs, looking up to Joe and meeting his eyes worriedly. "This thing is highly fucking illegal by appearance alone. We don't know what the hell will happen when we turn it on. If we get caught with this, what then? Do you really think this is a good idea?"The dystopian future robot au no one wanted where Pete and Joe are husbands running a mechanic shop and Patrick is....a little bit illegal.





	if it’s never been broken

**Author's Note:**

> yeah I don’t know what to say. just read it. it is what it is.

"-and I'm serious, be careful, if you get caught make sure you have that fake ID, if you lose it like you lost the last one I refuse to let you go out again, I swear to god-"

Joe chuckles under his breath, shaking his head. "Pete, babe, it's fine. I know."

Pete takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, shaking his head and muttering, "I don't know why I let you do this."

"Because we'd be broke as fuck if I didn't," Joe says, shrugging and leaning gently on the doorframe. "I'll be fine. I'm always fine. I'll be back in thirty, 'kay?"

Pete sighs, presses a quick kiss to Joe's lips and replies, "Okay. See you then."

Joe sets off before Pete can go off on another "don't get caught, I love you too much to see you die like a fucking idiot" spiel, slinging his bag over his shoulder and running into the alley. 

He wishes he didn't have to break the law to keep his business going, but the government's crackdown on experimentation with robotics has seriously hampered his ability to run a mechanic shop with his husband. They can't so much as get spare parts without jumping through a million hoops, so their only option is to - quite illegally - steal them out of dumpsters. 

It's not as if anyone is going to invent some super advanced robot with artificial intelligence and a personality or anything anytime soon, anyway. Robotic technology is widespread these days, but it's been stuck at the level it's at for years. And that level is super-mechanical worker droids who barely even pass for humanoid. At this point, the laws just exist for the sake of existing, and because the government has a weird fear of the imminent "robot uprising" that's never going to come. That's fine with Joe, though - he finds the best things in the trash, anyway. 

He starts with a dumpster two blocks down, rooting through it and grinning thankfully when he immediately comes across a shiny black metal leg in perfect condition. That one's a steal. He digs deeper, and pulls out a dingy (but fixable) motor, a heap of wiring, and an arm that matches the leg he'd procured a minute ago. All these go straight into his huge scavenging bag. Satisfied, he's about to declare this dumpster clean and move onto the next, but as he makes one more pass, sweeping aside the trash once more, something comes into view at the bottom. 

It's a face. At first Joe thinks he's stumbled across a dead body, and he's about to scream, but then he realizes that it's not a dead body at all. The face's left cheek is torn, and a conglomeration of colorful wires are poking out. 

It's not a dead body. It's a robot. 

Joe frowns, confused, and brushes away more trash, revealing more and more of his find. After a moment's hesitation, he lifts it out. 

The robot is far more advanced than anything Joe's ever seen before - and certainly far more advanced than the law allows. Just like the face, the rest of the body looks convincingly human, and Joe wouldn't have known it wasn't if not for the wires poking out everywhere. The thing's been torn apart, with gashes on its arms and one on its left leg, bright wires falling out of every one. The right leg is gone completely, the bottom half torn off to reveal yet more tangled wires where what's left ends. If it wasn't broken, this would be a masterpiece. An illegal masterpiece, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. 

Joe has to fix it. 

Joe's never been the mechanic, not really, he mostly deals with the customers and collects the supplies. Pete's the one who fixes things, and if there's one thing that needs to be fixed, it's this. 

Joe is aware he could be spending life in jail for even touching this thing, but it's too good to pass up. He's bringing it home. 

It goes into the bag with his spare parts, and Joe heads home earlier than intended. 

Pete isn't in the downstairs shop when Joe gets home, and he isn't in the back either. Joe climbs the back stairs to their stereotypical "apartment above the shop", and finds Pete on the couch, watching TV. 

"You're back early," Pete comments, looking vaguely surprised when he notices his husband strolling through the door. He turns off the TV and hops off the couch, rushing over to give Joe a quick kiss as a greeting. 

"Yeah. You'll never believe what I found," Joe says, setting down his bag and pulling out the robot, setting it on the floor as gently as he can manage. 

Pete's eyes snap wide open in shock, and he kneels down to examine it immediately. "Holy shit," he breathes out, "I've never seen anything like this."

"I hope not," Joe mutters. "'Cause if you had, you'd be in jail."

"Fuck." Pete continues his examination, poking at the loose wires spilling from the robot's otherwise perfect face. He looks back up to Joe. "And you want me to fix it, don't you?"

Joe's eyes shift away as he admits, "Maybe a little."

"Let's see. It might be too damaged, but I can try," Pete declares without hesitation, gathering the robot into his arms and lugging it towards the private workshop upstairs; only Pete and Joe ever use it, making it the perfect place to work with something that's more than a little illegal. 

Joe trails after, watching as Pete sets the robot down on his work table and immediately gets to work looking it over again. The more he pokes and prods, the more confused he looks. 

"What's wrong?" Joe asks, wondering if fixing this thing was too far-fetched an idea after all. 

"It's...not really broken," Pete says, voice laden with the confusion that's on his face. "Sure, it's torn up and missing a leg and all, but nothing's really damaged. None of the wires are actually cut, and the tears are minimal. Even the leg looks like it was professionally removed, not just torn off. Someone took the time to carefully make this thing look broken without actually breaking it. Why the fuck someone would do that is beyond me, but it looks like that's what happened."

"Then why isn't it working?" Joe asks, leaning over Pete's shoulder and trying to see a reason, but he's far less suited for those kind of observations than his husband. 

"Let me look at the control panel and shit, if I can find it. This obviously isn't a model I'm familiar with," Pete says, flipping the robot over and examining the back of it. He pokes at the back of its neck, and a panel suddenly opens, breaking the perfect illusion of humanity. Joe watches as Pete inspects the wiring inside. 

"Huh," he finally says, a bit disgruntled. "It's minimal here, too. A single wire's cut and the memory chip's snapped, but it's a quick fix. Well, the wire is, the chip's gonna take longer, and since this all seems intentional, I'm gonna guess it's broken for a reason. So let's not fuck with that."

"But you can get it working again?" Joe prompts, watching as Pete studies the panel and pokes at a couple of the wires. 

"I can definitely do that, but, babe..." Pete sighs, looking up to Joe and meeting his eyes worriedly. "This thing is highly fucking illegal by appearance alone. We don't know what the hell will happen when we turn it on. If we get caught with this, what then? Do you really think this is a good idea?"

Joe hesitates for just a moment, then looks to the robot on Pete's worktable again. It's illegal, yes, but it's also technology they'll likely never see again in their lifetime. And Joe has never been one to pass up a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

"Fix it," he says, knowing full well that there's no turning back now. 

"Alright," Pete agrees without hesitation, pushing the robot up into a sitting position so he can get at the panel more easily. He squints at it, muttering, "Don't even need tools for this, just gotta reconnect that wire..." Pete does exactly as he'd said he would, reaching into the panel and putting together the broken wire, and-

"WHAT THE HELL?"

The robot's eyes snap open as it screams out the question, quickly jerking away from Pete. 

"Uh-" Pete starts, his own eyes widening (Joe's sure his expression is about the same), but the robot interrupts him. 

"HOLY SHIT, MY FUCKING LEG IS GONE," it complains loudly, gesturing at the place where the missing leg should be. "MY FUCKING LEG. THAT'S REALLY INCONVENIENT, YOU KNOW THAT? WHAT - HOW-" It pauses, turning to Pete and Joe, eyes narrowing in a terrifyingly humanlike display of suspicion. "Wait. Who the hell are you?"

Pete and Joe are both stunned into silence, unsure how to respond. This robot has just done about a million different things that it definitely shouldn't be able to do. Finally, Pete breaks the silence. 

"Uh, I'm Pete," he says weakly, and waves an arm vaguely behind him, adding, "And that's my husband, Joe, uh...you..."

"What?" The robot crosses its arms, raising an eyebrow. Joe can't believe just how natural the action looks - any other robots he's ever seen can barely even smile. But this one is displaying all emotion perfectly. 

"You - you-" Joe stammers, trying to figure out what out of the many things the robot's done that it shouldn't have he's going to comment on, and stupidly, what comes out of his mouth is, "You can swear?"

"Of fucking course I can _swear_ ," the robot responds, adding onto the list of facial expressions that it's impressive it can accomplish by wrinkling its nose in disgust. "I can do _plenty_ of things, like rip off my other leg and shove it so far up your ass I can open your mouth and paint my toenails."

Pete and Joe share a look, both wide-eyed and confused. Whatever technology is making this robot work, it's extremely advanced, and extremely illegal. This thing shouldn't be able to swear, or be annoyed, or show any emotion at all, and it definitely shouldn't be able to threaten to shove its leg up someone's ass. That's definitely unchartered territory. 

Pete frowns, and says to Joe, "Okay, so...something's definitely wrong with it."

"I can hear you, asshole!"

Joe ignores the interjection and just responds to Pete. "Yeah, it shouldn't be able to-"

"Not an it, dickface!" 

Pete and Joe simultaneously turn back to the robot, currently busy looking absolutely fucking livid. 

"I'm not an _it_ , you assholes," he seethes. "My name is Patrick, and I've already decided I fucking hate you."

"You have a _name_?" Pete blurts out, at the same time Joe says, "You're capable of hating us?"

"You're fucking idiots," Patrick declares, "and if I had my fucking _leg_ , I'd have left already." He pauses, and adds, "Actually, could you guys take a break from looking shocked every time I say something and maybe _get me another leg_?"

Joe doesn't know what to say, and it's obvious that Pete doesn't either. The two share another look, and silently decide that their best bet is just to go along with this. 

"There's a leg in my bag," Joe tells Pete weakly. "It's nowhere near as advanced as the rest of i - uh, the rest of him...but..."

"Right. On it," Pete nods and bolts out of the room, looking relieved at the chance to get out. 

Joe turns back to Patrick, with a million questions and no idea which to ask first. Finally, he settles on, "What happened to you?"

"Oh, fuck if I know," Patrick mutters, glaring down at his missing leg again. "I don't remember shit. I know my name and the fact I probably need another leg, but that's about it."

"Huh." Joe frowns, watching Patrick's face with thinly veiled awe, amazed that Patrick actually looks genuinely annoyed. Joe knows he should stop being surprised every time Patrick shows an emotion, but the thing is, Patrick shouldn't be doing basically anything he's currently doing. 

"What's your problem with me?"

"I'm sorry?" Joe is snapped out of his thoughts to find Patrick looking at him curiously, leaning back on the worktable like he's getting comfortable. 

"You and your husband seem to have a serious issue with me," Patrick elaborates, shrugging. "I don't get it."

Joe frowns, and asks cautiously, "You...you know you're illegal, right?"

"I'm what?" Patrick asks, and Joe tries not to look so amazed by the way his expression switches so naturally from curious to confused. 

"Uh...you are extremely against the law," Joe says, trying his best to hide his amazing at every little action Patrick makes. 

“I know what ‘illegal’ means, dumbass,” Patrick mutters, before realization seems to set in and his head snaps up. “Wait a second, I’m _illegal_?”

“You’re, uh...” Joe struggles for a good way to put this, and finally settles on, “...a little more advanced than the law allows.”

Patrick raises an eyebrow. 

Joe groans. “Okay, a _lot_ more advanced than the law allows. You shouldn’t - you shouldn’t have facial expressions, you shouldn’t swear, you shouldn’t be convincingly human, you shouldn’t be capable of making your own choices and actions, and that’s...just the first couple laws you’re breaking.” 

Patrick raises his other eyebrow, both eyes widening. “That’s...that’s all _illegal_?”

Joe nods, and is about to try and say something else, but he’s saved by Pete returning with the shiny black leg from earlier. 

“Sorry, it’s obviously not as good as you used to have, and it might feel a little clunky to use at first, but it’s all we have,” Pete apologizes, making his way over to Patrick. “Do you still...want it?” Joe hears the hesitance in the question, and understands it - it’s odd to be asking a robot what they want, when robots aren’t supposed to want anything at all. 

“I appreciate you giving me a leg at all, actually,” Patrick says, now looking slightly amused by Pete’s awkwardness around him. “I’ve just been informed I’m extremely illegal.”

“Oh.” Pete’s eyes dart between Joe and Patrick, and he finally mutters, “I guess.”

“But yes,” Patrick continues, mostly ignoring Pete. “I would _love_ that leg.”

“Sure,” Pete says nervously, “sure.”

Ten minutes later, Joe and Pete are standing just outside the workshop, tense and concerned. Patrick is off - rebooting, actually, since he needs to to fully connect to the new leg. (Patrick hadn’t liked the idea of doing this, but once it had been made clear he wasn’t getting a leg if he didn’t, he’d given in.) And Pete and Joe need to talk. 

“We can’t keep him,” Pete finally blurts out, eyes wide and anxious. “He’s illegal, Joe! And honestly, he scares me!”

“Come on, babe, Patrick wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Joe says defensively, crossing his arms. 

“He said he was going to rip off his leg and shove it up your ass!” Pete exclaims, gaping as if he’s offended. (Likely, he is.) 

“He was _joking_ ,” Joe responds, briefly wondering why he’s standing up for the robot. “He can _do that_.”

“He shouldn’t be able to,” Pete mutters. Then, louder, he continues, “We have to get rid of him! He’s off right now, we can just-“

“ _No_ ,” Joe cuts him off, with more force than he’d intended. Pete falls silent, looking a little stunned. Quieter, Joe continues, “I think we should keep him.”

Pete’s mouth opens and closes uselessly for a minute, and finally he sighs. “Fine,” he relents. 

Joe gapes, surprised. “Wait, seriously? You - we can keep him?”

Pete shakes his head, then reluctantly nods. “Sure, Joe. We can keep him”

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr, @vangays, if you wanna talk about this au, or any of my others! thanks for reading! I’d appreciate comments, too, if you liked this!
> 
> thank you! <3  
> -patrick


End file.
